Bad Bad Speedy Gonzales

This is how my life works.

People give me projects to code. We talk them over in a million meetings, we bicker, make decisions and change our minds, then I retreat back to my geek cave, where I click and type until I’ve got what we call an end product. People then look at it, like it, hate it or don’t understand it, and the bickering resumes. It’s pretty straightforward.

Now, since I’m repeatedly ruining my beauty sleep to go to work every day, I might as well, you know, work. I mean, tea breaks, gossip sessions and Facebook stalking are fun and everything, but at the end of the day we’re here to get the job done. It might just be me and my silly Romanian, communist roots. Either way, this annoying habit of mine to work when nobody else feels like working is openly frowned upon in our office.

At first I was replying to emails too quickly.

“Wait for a couple of hours before you reply. People will expect you to always be available.”

Then I was delivering tasks too quickly.

“My golden rule is: never deliver something within the same day. Yes, even if it’s just a typo fix. Always give it a couple of days at least, or even better, a week. The client will feel you haven’t rushed their work.”

Then I simply wasn’t a team player.

“It makes us look bad when it takes us three times as long to finish our slice of the work. Outside people don’t understand our jobs are different and demand different amounts of effort and attention to detail.”

My life today involves a lot of sitting around and resting my fingers until Steve gives me the green light to let people know everything’s done and ready to be reviewed. If anything, it gives me time to think my life over. So many lessons learned, and in such a short time. For one thing, speed means different things for different people. Just like work. Then, speed is dangerous. It makes people nervous and feeling like they have to do things they don’t want to do in order to protect themselves. Oh, I’ve also learnt that apparently, I’ve got the easiest job in the office.

It figures. Everybody else works as a tester for Facebook.

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