As I’ve been saying, I am currently working as sole web developer in a small Design team. Now, this team of mine is of course the best Design team on the planet, but within the company there are other Design people, teams and departments who click and cut their days away for the same boss. What you don’t know is that all these other designers, all their ideas, products and even personalities, suck. Big time. They are only after our jobs while in fact, they are superficial, unoriginal, overpaid and should be fired on the spot.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never even met most of these people. I doubt I’ve ever seen their work. But I know, I KNOW their designs suck as designs and they themselves suck as individuals. And how do I know that? Well, it’s the subject of hourly meetings and debates within my team.
My three designer colleagues gather around a screen, or a screen printed in color on a huge sheet of paper (These people despise trees. Not as much as they despise other designers, but still!), and end up destroying it one pixel at a time, irrefutable arguments and all, as per below:
“This is crap!”
“And they call themselves designers!”
“Look at this shade of blue! Look at this border!”
“Some people make insanely more money than they deserve!”
“This is crap!”
I am NOT a designer.
I try to match my outfit to my nail polish color when I don’t forget. I look at designs in terms of what and when needs to be clicked by the end user. I couldn’t care less about absolutely-identical-but-not-really shades of blue and why a 2 pixel border is better than a 1 pixel one. Or why borders are needed at all. I sometimes worry about lousy Internet Explorer, but it passes soon enough and I’m back to being my carefree non designer self.
So what I’m unsuccessfully trying to convey here is that, well, I don’t care why this company seems to hire so many sucky designers. But I must say I’m lucky beyond belief, surrounded as I am by the only capable ones, and absolute geniuses the three of them for that matter. Life is good.